When going through a divorce, you likely hear all sorts of information from many sources about what will serve you and your child best in the aftermath. Most experts lean toward forms of joint parenting over sole custody situations.
But what can you do if you simply do not feel like you can cooperate with your co-parent just yet? In this case, you may want to look into parallel parenting instead.
Relying on written communication
Psychology Today examines a form of joint parenting called parallel parenting. This type of parenting helps reduce friction between arguing co-parents, giving you both the time and space you need to heal in the aftermath of divorce while still sharing custody of your child.
With parallel parenting, you eschew all non-written forms of communication. You and your co-parent will strictly communicate via text, email, instant messaging or even hand-written letters. You can even avoid conversations entirely, with many parents choosing to keep logs regarding their child’s health and life in a notebook passed between homes with the child. This lets you both keep full tabs on the child without having to speak to each other directly.
The end goal
The overall goal of parallel parenting is to act as a stepping stone on the way to more active, incorporated forms of cooperative parenting. A judge will review your case periodically to decide if you should carry on as things are, if anything needs adjustment or if it is time to move away from parallel parenting entirely. Of course, each situation is different and you will move at your own unique pace.